Good Morning. I’ve shied away from my blog for the last few months. I don’t know why, I just felt as if I had nothing much to say. Although if you ask my friends and co-workers, it’s actually hard to shut me up. Recently a friend and fellow yoga teacher pointed out that I hadn’t been writing my blog.
“Of course I did, now get on it!”
So here I am. Back in the bloggy saddle. Thank you Lara Whisman.
And here’s what I want to say. Peoples manners really sucketh nowadays.
The other day I drove into a four way intersection, and my lane was the only one that didn’t have a stop. A woman on my right assumed I had a stop, and she started driving, I kept going. She rolled down her window and screamed (Yes, really screamed), “You’re a Whore!”
It was suck an odd thing to say. It didn’t make any sense. I had never been called a whore, and this certainly didn’t seem to be a situation where a person, another woman would call me a whore, much less with such vehemence. Her face was screwed up in hot outrage like a Kavanaugh. I almost laughed in surprise. What in the world was this? What sense of entitlement had been opened up for that woman that she felt okay presenting herself that way. In public. It’s sort of funny but really it’s not.
I did feel as if someone had hurled some deep yuck at me, and it took a little time to lift. In days not long ago, someone might scream that if they had some deep psychological issue, but not just because. We don’t walk around hurling insults at each other because if we all did that everything would turn into one massive brawl.
Manners matter to the health of a society. How we speak to each other has huge power. The ease now in which our higher ups insult others intelligence and looks and gender and sexuality really does matter, and that’s what I was seeing. This shrieking women had been given an okay to just let loose, she is now entitled to fling her hot hate around.
When my son Sam was a tot, and I was teaching him some manners (not an easy job, the kid was born with a heck of a stubborn streak). He interpreted the idea of sharing his own way and would stomp up to his little classmates, grab their little toys and snacks and tell them “I am sharing with you.”
This manner of sharing was not effective. It made Sam very unpopular. It made me unpopular with the other mothers. It made the other little kids sad and wary of snack and toy stealing Sam.
Manners exist to keep our society flourishing and happy and keep us from lighting each other’s huts on fire.
I see seemingly well-educated, wealthy people roll their eyes, raise their voices, call other’s names, cut in front of each other, as if they are somehow entitled, and allowed to do so. But that’s not the case. Not at all. That just dumbs down our society and lowers the bar. Lowers it way, way too low. I don’t want to be there, and I am scared of people who are willing to go there.
Manners matter. Manners are vital. I’m not going to lose mine, and I won’t let my kids lose theirs. I have encouraged people who speak to me otherwise to mind their manners, and i will continue to do so. And if I ever scream “Whore” at someone in the street you have my permission to slap the nasty right out of me.