I Affirm (Well), Therefore I Am (Well)
Good morning, good morning. I had to take a brief break from my beloved Cheeky Yum. I experienced several layers of lifeshaking, bonequaking events all at the same time, and although they are still in process I am able to breathe a little deeper now.
I have some coping tools that I swear by, but I will tell you when the sh*t hits the fan it is so darned hard to take the time out from the panic to use them. Yesterday, I took myself out to my porch for 20 minutes of meditation. I practice regularly, but this time, for the first 10 minutes I couldn’t get my eyelids to settle down. At about fifteen minutes, I could keep them shut and finally calm. If my eyes are that jumpy and if the meditation was able to settle them down it was doing the same for the rest of me. Big tool.
Valuable, especially because we human beings seem to need to wrap our hands and legs around the fear and hold on tight. We inhale it and invite it to live in our hearts and bellies. Too bad it’s often harder for us to embrace the good stuff like that, but that’s how most of us are wired. That’s also why things like meditation, yoga, affirmations, are all called practices. As my friend Audrey Walzer says, you can’t just wear the cool yoga clothes, you need to do it to get the benefits.
At one time or another, LIFE will rattle your foundation. A good friend of mine lost a pronounced hunch in his shoulders a few years ago when he re-started his yoga practice. He lost the hunch, his face softened, and he looked many years younger. My friend is a bit overwhelmed at the moment, and the hunch has reappeared. He is literally carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. (He’s reading this I’m sure, and I’ve reminded him in person, because I love him). I often tell the yogis in my classes to extend their spines and relax their shoulder blades down their backs to tell themselves and everyone else that they belong on this planet. We all do, and there’s no need to slump and hide. We don’t need to be afraid to show their hearts because we think we are not enough.
Another handy dandy tool I like to wear in my tool belt is Affirmation. I used to dislike affirmations intensely. I suspect it was because when I said to myself, I AM LOVED, it didn’t ring true. But of course, that is exactly what I needed to hear and say, exactly what my little crampy heart needed to grow and swell and beat with the happy thumpity thump it deserved.
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM SAFE
I AM HEALTHY
I AM WEALTHY
So this period of stress kicked up my Kancer a bit. I am spelling it wrong, at Kris Carr’s suggestion, because, well, you know, F*ck Kancer. And nothing like a kickup of dark malignancy to cause more stress.
I AM LOVED
I AM EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE
I started an additional medication which should help take care of the spike. But the bigger picture is, This Ain’t No Joke, Baby. Like many of us, I simply can’t afford to let myself get carried away by fear and anxiety. It costs me too much. And if I BELIEVE I AM HEALTHY, I AM HEALTHY, I will be, because ultimately perception is and becomes reality.
I RELEASE OVERWHELM
The affirmations hold tremendous power even if we don’t mean them, even if we don’t believe the words. If someone tells us they love us, we are happy, we dance, we become pink and shiny and glow. If someone tells us they don’t love us any more, we die inside, we wilt, we stop eating. Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can literally destroy you.
More on that another time.
For right now, today, I am breathing. I am moving forward, taking action where i need to to continue to move through the storm. Because I am strong, I am loved, I am wise, and I am healthy.
And I love you guys, too. I really do.
Photo Credit: Moi