On the Bright Side…
My Dad was out in his garden the other day, weeding and breaking up dirt. He saw a frog, and moved it to safety out of the garden hoe’s way. When he looked back, the frog had one leg inside a snake’s mouth. Instead of moving the frog out of harms way, he pretty much handed it over to a hungry snake.
Not sure what to do, he threw the snake and frog up in the air, hoping the flight would help sort things out in one way or another.
Meaning, some times there’s not a whole lot we can do and our actions don’t always bring the desired results. Some times we just need to be where we are. That can be the hardest thing ever, if where we are feels like it’s not enough or not what we want.
I mentioned in the last blog that I was learning (re-learning, always re-learning, I’m a stubborn girl) to go with the flow. It’s not really learning, it’s practicing. We humans love to sit in our past stories, and mind grind about future potential issues. Just like any work that furthers us down our evolutionary path, it takes practice, repetition. Otherwise we fall into our same old patterns to ease the angst, our bad habits. Eventually we throw poo, and wonder why things aren’t working out.
One technique I’ve relied on increasingly over the years is affirmations.
I AM HEALTHY.
I AM STRONG.
I AM POWERFUL.
When I was younger, I hated the idea of affirmations. I suspect it was because I couldn’t bear the thought of saying to myself I am BEAUTIFUL. I sure wouldn’t have said I AM SMART, I AM WISE, I AM WONDERFUL. Because that’s not how I felt about myself. I had grown up thinking exactly the opposite.
When my daughter was born I walked into a book store in LA. I saw an IQ test and I purchased it. I took it in secret (not that my baby daughter would have told anyone) and I scored very high. That blew all of my perceptions about myself out of the water. I was not, as I had been led to believe, a dolt. I was actually pretty happening. I was very smart!
I sat down very soon after taking the test and wrote what would become, the first Young Adult fiction about eating disorders. It was published, won a few awards, and was used in schools across the country as a tool in classrooms. I received many letters from kids who had read the book and found it to be helpful.
The point is, what we believe about ourselves is absolutely who we are. We are self fulfilling prophecies, and proof that what we ask for is what get.
There’s a big difference between what can run through our heads without any effort . These thoughts are reinforced often and become truth without any effort at all;
I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS (No, you don’t!)
I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MONEY (No, you don’t)
I AM ILL (Yes, you are, better get to dying!)
I AM A HOT MESS (Absolutely, Yes, you are!)
Instead, with a little discipline and effort:
I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS (Yes, you do!)
I AM SO WEALTHY (Yes, you are!)
I AM SO HEALTHY (Yes, you are!)
I AM AT PEACE (Yes, Honey you are!)
I practice affirmations on my way to work, in the car, in the shower, before sleep, in the middle of the night. When possible, I say them out loud. I repeat them. When I really need to hear them again, I write them on an index card and tape them in easy to see places.
When all else fails, affirmations can tweak your perspective. Unless you are, in this moment, in flames, you are technically okay, at least for this moment.
FROG – I CAN FLYI!
SNAKE – I HAVE LUNCH!